


Templar Tryst

by dalishious (kispesan)



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Meta, anti chantry, anti cullen, anti templar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 18:59:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 11,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16938888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kispesan/pseuds/dalishious
Summary: (Per request, this is a meta post series from my tumblr, archived here.)Challenged to romance Cullen Rutherford as a mage with the prediction that it would completely change my opinion on him, this is an over-analysis of Cullen’s writing in DA:I, specifically with his romance.It is not a personal attack on anyone who likes him. Be my guest. But I still hope you are willing to read this with an open mind, because then maybe if you don’t already, you’ll get a better understanding of why there are so many people who dislike him. And stop issuing challenges to “get to know him better.”





	1. Challenge Issued

**Author's Note:**

> To find all the posts on Tumblr, (and more in the same vein,) see here: http://dalishious.tumblr.com/anticullenmasterlist

> **_ANONYMOUS SENT A MESSAGE:  
>  _ ** _I'm going to suggest to you what I suggest to all the Cullen-haters: why don't you ACTUALLY ROMANCE HIM?? If you do you'll see what a sweet and dorky bowl of noodles he is. And he has flaws but that's called GOOD WRITING. Also he has PTSD which is confirmed so you have to remember that too. I'm just saying I think you might actually like him if you bothered to get to know him, and I saw that to everyone._

Sorry about taking so long to respond to this. It’s been sitting in my inbox for like, two days, mostly because I couldn’t decide how I wanted to respond; either with a gif of someone laughing, or with a serious answer.

I decided on serious. And to go a bit further. So here we go.

To begin, I  _have_ romanced Cullen. I’ve romanced all the options at least once. And TBH I did find a little bit of enjoyment in it eventually, (50% was just boring) but only when I was able to completely immerse myself in my character and forget about analyzing it as a player. A player who has extensively played the previous games and is aware of all his BS. The scene where they awkwardly talk about the weather was adorkable… So don’t think I’m someone who is just dismissing him based on other’s opinions. I have formed my own, based on my own playing.

The part about your message that especially bothers me is that you claim you have sent this to other people. I strongly suggest you stop that. I know of at least two folks who are abuse survivors who hate him for very personal reasons, and to go out of your way to send this kind of message to them just isn’t nice. Now, I also know people like to reply to posts with this kind of message. I can’t say anything against that because posts are a public, community-based thing for discussion, etc. So that’s a different story. But personal messages and asks are different. I’m sure you mean well, but I’m just saying. I don’t send messages to people who hate Sera suggesting they romance her. Partly because I’m sure at least half of them would use that homophobic mod to do so, if they did at all.

I also know that not all Cullen fans are bad people. And I appreciate those who follow me despite not agreeing with every little thing I think. Because I’m not telling anyone they’re wrong when I write/reblog critical posts about him. I’m expressing my own opinion, and sharing posts I happen to agree with, and/or I think are well-written and worth a read. Do I encourage people to question themselves? Well, yeah. Because that’s just how I feel. But I’ll be respectful to you if you’ll be respectful to me. (And if I mistake you for being antagonistic when you’re not I will apologize.)

But I’ll tell you what. I accept your challenge. After giving it some thought, I am going to romance him. (Again.)   
With an elven mage.  
And I am going to collect all the things wrong with it.  
It’ll be a good project.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Jan 29 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/138284774907/


	2. First Meeting

> _**Cullen:** Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the rift? Well done. _  
>  _**Cassandra:** Do not congratulate me, Commander. This is the prisoner's doing._  
>  _**Cullen:** Is it? I hope they're right about you. We've lost a lot of people getting you here._

What better place to start this than the beginning? The very beginning. As in the first chance we get to meet Mr. Rutherford.

Belava, being the shy little elf she is, decided to agree with the sword-wielding force of nature in front of her and chose to charge with the soldiers to reach the Breach. This of course leads her to save the soldiers and close the rift,  _right in front of Cullen’s eyes_. Yet for some reason he thinks it was Cassandra’s doing? Which is kind of illogical. What does he think she accomplished by killing the demons pouring out of it that he and his soldiers hadn’t by doing that very same thing for who knows how long? Maybe he had his back turned.

But I love his reaction to Cassandra’s explanation that it was in fact Belava who closed the rift. “Oh. Kay. People are still dead though. Which is definitely your fault, BTW.” There’s no respect there at all.  _BUT…_

**THE GOOD:**

It actually  _makes sense_ for Cullen to be so initially antagonistic. Most at this point believe it was her who is the cause of everything, and he probably does too. This is also how Cullen reacts to any Inquisitor, so it has nothing to do with his hatred of mages for once. (Although you could argue that all Inquisitors have magic in the form of the mark. Unfamiliar magic at that. So I’m sure that is a contributing factor for him.)

**THE BAD:**

This is one of those times where I actually don’t have a problem with the scene itself, but rather how many fans treat the scene. There is nothing  _‘love at first sight’_  about this. Cullen looks at Belava and sees a  _threat_ , if anything.  
After Belava says that she’s going to do what she can, he completely brushes her off with a “We’ll see soon enough, won’t we?” And turns to Cassandra once again. He doesn’t believe her. He doesn’t care. He is detached completely. 

Someone that speaks to you with that kind of condescending tone he uses here is  _not_ flirting with you. (At least not in a way that suggests a healthy relationship…) If something becomes of Cullen and the Inquisitor’s relationship, it sure doesn’t start here. In fact, this kind of says just how truly quickly his opinion of you changes. Like, on a dime. I suppose the same can be said for most, though.

What’s funny though is that where Cassandra apologizes for being wrong with her initial assessment of Belava, Cullen does not. The next time you talk to him one-on-one,  _he doesn’t even acknowledge it._   ** _Which I suppose is quite preliminary for his character in DA:I as a whole._**

But we’ll get to all of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Jan 30 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/138372387687/


	3. Why Are You Even Here?

We are of course already introduced to Mr. Rutherford, with the first war table cutscene. The guy somewhat rudely dismisses Leliana’s suggestion that the group should seek help from the rebel mages. 

> _**Cullen** : Templars could suppress the breach, weaken it so–_  
>  _**Leliana** : Pure speculation._  
>  _**Cullen** : I was a templar. I know what they’re capable of._

**THE GOOD:**

Don’t see any.

**THE BAD:**

He would rather ally with the templars  _without even knowing they truly are an option_ than side with the mages, who Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine all agree are a sure solution.

Kind of questionable, wouldn’t you agree? I mean it  _does_ turn out to be possible, but that’s not the real point here. The real point is Cullen is willing to throw out logic and simplicity for the sake of his own personal prejudice.

Now, swinging forward to the follow up scene outside Haven's gates...

> _**Cullen:** I was recruited to the Inquisition in Kirkwall, myself._  
>  _**Cullen:** I was there during the mage uprising—I saw firsthand the devastation it caused._

We know Josephine has been an ambassador for some time and is very well immersed in the world of politics. We know both Cassandra and Leliana were the right and left hands of the Divine. (Of course  _we_ know more having played the previous games, but the Inquisitor doesn’t.)

_But let me get this straight:_  Cullen is here because Cassandra happened to be searching for Hawke in Kirkwall, and decided, “This guy, this guy right here, I want him to be in charge of our military?” Because he’s done such a bang-up job to date. This guy, who let’s his personal beliefs trump strategy.

I just wonder what the conversation between Cass and Leli went like.

_"This is Josie, she’s been an ambassador since she was like eighteen. And is also super cute."_  
_"This is Cullen. I found him in Kirkwall. He didn’t fuck up quite as badly as Meredith. Meaning he’s still alive."_

And we’re supposed to side with Cullen over these three women, who are all a lot more qualified and experienced in their fields? Really?

It just makes me think of all the better options we could have had as the Inquisition’s Commander. Shit, you mean to tell me Cassandra went to Kirkwall and picked Cullen over  _Aveline?_ And I mean if you really,  _really_ needed a templar, (which you  _don’t_ ) I’d even settle for  _Evangeline_.

But no. We got this guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Jan 30 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/138374427052/


	4. What do Templars do?

> _**Lavellan:** Before coming here, my Keeper suggested I avoid templars._  
>  _**Lavellan:** Do they do anything besides hunt mages?_  
>  _**Cullen:** Templars protect against the dangers of magic._  
>  _**Cullen:** Before the Order left the Chantry, that meant serving in a Circle._  
>  _**Cullen:** They were also tasked with tracking apostates or fighting demons inevitably summoned by the weak or malicious._

That’s a good verbal TL;DR section you’ve got there, Cullen. Mind if I elaborate for you?

**THE GOOD:**

This isn’t so much  _good_ as just something  _noteworthy_ ; he almost methodically explains this all, as if he’s done it before. He probably has. This is probably a speech that has been relayed to him, and so he relays it to others. I think it is important to remember that Cullen is the perfect product of templar grooming. 

** THE BAD: **

Let’s first take a close look the small picture first; at some of the word choices, here. Starting with the biggest one:

_**“…Demons inevitably summoned by the weak or malicious.”** _

I feel like this right here sums up Cullen’s view on mages as a whole pretty well; they will  _inevitably_ turn to demons. As in there’s no way it’s not going to happen. 

_**“Templars protect against the dangers of magic.”** _

Ah, there’s that word ‘protect’ again. [I’ve had fun discussing this before.](http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/138105973602/) To save you from reading the whole thing, to quote [@thesweetmelodyofbiniou](http://tmblr.co/mkHyJnjlHDJyX28ssPXiUJA), who said it perfectly:

_“No, they don’t protect Mages. If you really want you can argue they try to protect “civilians”. I don’t agree but I can understand the idea. But Templars were never created to protect the Mages._

_And if your solution to protect people is to abduct them as children (as young as 6), put them in prison, forcing them to pass dangerous tests, let the prison guards free reigns with little to no consequences (Rape, illegal Tranquility, leaving a 12 yo starve to death) then you don’t have a solution. Find something else!”_

The fact that he doesn’t say  _who_ the templars protect here is laughable too. **Because** **we all know the only people they _truly_ protect are themselves and the Chantry.**

I also find it funny how Belava specifically asks if templars do anything besides hunt mages, and two out of the three things he lists that they do is  _hunt mages!_ But moving onto the big picture…

So. My lil elven mage has an honest question; why should she even be talking to Cullen right now? The fact that she’s asking means her Keeper probably didn’t go into detail about  _why_ she should avoid them. Just said to do so. Personally I don’t like this, and I think it’s telling that while the Dalish  _revere_ their mages, (from what we know of the previous games,) they are probably over-protected. Think about how Merrill described her life as First as being lonely, kept away from the bulk of her clan and taught that her duty was to  _study_. Over-protected and treated childishly even, to an extent. 

So when Cullen gives his explanation, we as a player can recognize all the BS spouting from his mouth, but Belava may not, unless she’s the questioning sort. (Which she isn’t. Kind of the only way she’d even “fall for him.”) Cullen gives the same answer to a human mage, but the difference is they’ve  _actually dealt_ with templars before. They have their own experiences to go by rather than just his words. But an elven mage’s mind is open for potential manipulation.

And you don’t get to ask him what he means by anything. You don’t get to counter him. As a dalish or qunari mage, tell him you’ve managed just fine without a templar jailer. Or if you’re a human mage, tell him you know firsthand that what he is saying is misleading. This right here is what I hate must about talking with Cullen; the game never gives the player an opportunity to be counter him. It’s as if the writers either thought, “Why would anyone want to?” In which case they are extremely out of touch with the game series they are working on, or they did in fact know people would want to, and didn’t give us the option on purpose. Because as explained in the long post I linked to above, DA:I’s big purpose is victim-blaming the mages (and elves) to force a shoddy attempt at grey morality into a world that already had interesting dynamics. And Cullen is very close to the centre of all that.

Can’t have players criticizing the new golden boy now, can we?  
(I miss Alistair. Bring back Alistair. He was actually enjoyable.)

The second part of this conversation is even fucking  _worse_. I’ll get to that next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Jan 31 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/138419475432/


	5. Opinion on Mages?

> _**Lavellan:** What do you think of mages? Are they all a threat?_  
>  _**Cullen:** I've seen the suffering magic can inflict._  
>  _**Cullen:** I've treated mages with distrust because of it—at times without case._  
>  _**Cullen:** That was unworthy of me. I will try not to do so here._

Nope.gif

**THE GOOD:**

There is nothing good about this entire conversation. Everything is terrible. I hate it.

**THE BAD:**

Fuck the fuck off, Cullen.

Alright, before I get to Cullen I’m actually going to criticize the dialogue of my Inquisitor. My  _mage_ inquisitor, using the word “they.” Like how hard would it have been to replace it with “We?” Really? It reminds me of back in high school Sociology, talking about mental illness as if no one in the class had something themselves like omf.

_**“I’ve seen the suffering magic can inflict.”** _

Right here it would have been nice to be able to butt in with “I’ve seen the suffering templars can inflict” if you’re a Trevelyan. But I’m not playing a Trevelyan; I’m a Lavellan who has very little understanding of how the outside world works. I mean as far as Belava knows, this is a completely fair thing to say in the human world. (And unfortunately it is certainly deemed that way.)

_**“I’ve treated mages with distrust…”** _

GIVE THIS FUCKER THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR AWARD. Or has “distrust” suddenly expanded its meaning to cover murder, torture, every form of abuse under the sun, and the  _encouragement_ of all of the above?  
**Now, I got a message from someone saying Cullen has PTSD and so that excuses him,**  and I’ve been meaning to add it to my list of questions. Short answer:  **NO, it doesn’t. It’s an _explanation_ , not an  _excuse_. **In no way does mental illness  _justify_ the  _atrocities_ he’s personally committed. You want to make a list of how many  _mages_ have PTSD from  _daily circle life?_    
I also want to note that a lot of the fandom is not as kind to other characters who have mental illnesses. [No one says Sera’s nerodivergence is an excuse for her. And where you can never call out Cullen on his bullshit, you have ample opportunities to be cruel to her.](http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/138501622267/)  
But this isn’t my least favourite part of this response. No, that has to go to…

_**“That was unworthy of me. I will try not to do so here.”** _

  1. ‘Unworthy of me.’  _How fucking conceited of an ‘apology’ can you get._  No, I’m not even going to call it an apology because nowhere in that sentence does he at all say he’s sorry for those he’s hurt. No, he’s only sorry he’s hurt his _personal image._
  2. ‘I will try not to do so here.’  **THEN THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING AT THE WAR TABLE NOT FIVE MINUTES AGO???**  WERE YOU THREATENED BY BEING IN A ROOM FULL OF WOMEN SMARTER THAN YOU AND FELT THE NEED TO SWING YOUR DICK AROUND?



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Feb 1 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/138514774367/


	6. Champions of the Just

> _**Cullen:** The templars must help us close the Breach. The order was founded to fight magic!_

What happened to “Templars are protectors” Cullen? Did it not suit you in this situation?

**THE GOOD:**

You know, the funny thing is, now I don’t even think the writers  _intended_ for him to be this way. I just think they honestly decided  _not_ to check for inconsistencies or logic? Maybe they never expected an idiot like me to look at things so intensely.  
Wait, that’s not good. That’s just something to note.

**THE BAD:**

Starting with above. I just picked this moment out of a few examples.   
It’s at this point in the game my Inquisitor has agreed to seek the Templar’s help. (Although I made a save beforehand so that I can go back and do the mages after. This way I could grab his reactions to both situations.) Cullen has the above quote, which is completely countering what he said earlier about the Order being founded to "protect" mages.  
If he’s referring to the first Inquisition which led into Templars in the above quote, he’s sort of right. But that’s not the point;  **the point is he’s saying one thing in one moment and something else in another, depending on what the situation best calls for to get his way.** Like, he’s not even beating around the bush being discreet about it either! Which is why I think Leliana with her bard skills and you know,  _common sense_  must want to facepalm 24/7 around him.  
According to the Wiki (which yeah, is definitely not the most reliable source, I know,)  _“The Inquisition was then divided in two groups: the Seekers of Truth and the Templar Order, with the purpose of the Order becoming that of guardian and warden rather than hunter.”_  
Warden is a good word choice. As in, prison wardens.

**Speaking of getting his way…**

I talked before about how Cullen is willing to throw out logic and simplicity for the sake of his own personal prejudice. And two separate people—at least I’m assuming separate, they were anonymous—rebutted with, (paraphrasing here) “Cullen isn’t a templar anymore, so you can’t say his opinion is biased!” But here’s the thing: He may not consider himself a templar any longer… Despite still wearing their insignia on his armour…

…He fucking admits to  _agreeing with their position_  in the mage templar war!

> _**Cullen:** I may disagree with the Order's actions—that I'm here is proof of that—but I sympathize with their frustrations._

He only disagrees with the fact that they’ve disbanded from the Chantry. But no, he sympathizes not with those fighting for their right to be  _free_ , but with the people fighting for the right to keep being oppressive.  
_This is an extreme comparison_ , but if this was the American Civil War era, he’d be a  _confederate_. (Disclaimer: I’m Canadian and so of course we are not taught about the American Civil War in detail like I imagine kids in the States are in school. We only briefly went over it towards the end of the times learning about the history of slavery in North America.)

So yeah. He is  _definitely_ basing his plan on his own prejudice. Sorry to break it to you. Wait…  
…No I’m not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Feb 12 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/139200167917/


	7. In Hushed Whispers

> _**Cullen:** We don't have the manpower to take the castle! Either we find another way in, or give up this nonsense and go get the templars._   
>  _**Cullen:** If you go in there, you'll die. And we'll loose the only means we have of closing these rifts. I won't allow it._   
>  _***Twelve seconds later*** _   
>  _**Cullen:** The plan puts you in the most danger. We can't, in good conscience, order you to do this._   
>  _**Cullen:** We can still go after the templars if you'd rather not play the bait. It's up to you._

Oooh, I get it.  _You only want to order me around if I disagree with you._

So, I went back to my saved state so my  _mage_ Inquisitor has opted to side with the mages. Wow, shocker. And immediately the tone is different. The first thing said is that it’s a mistake, as opposed to just jumping right in with the templar’s choice.

**~~THE GOOD:~~ **

Cullen does have a  _sliver_ of logic in what he says. They are putting the Inquisitor at risk by going with this plan.   
 **But what I don’t get is this:**  The Inquisitor has been trekking around the Hinterlands, the Storm Coast, and the Fallow Mire at this point, fighting people, demons, zombies, and motherfucking  _bears_. As well as making a direct confrontation with the Chantry in Val Royaux. So I don’t know why Cullen is acting as if just  _now_ the Inquisitor is stepping into a dangerous situation?  
Oh wait. Yes I do. Probably because we all know that’s not his real reason for wanting to back away. If it was, he would have protested them leaving Haven in the first place.

**THE BAD:**

For fuck sake, Cullen.

At this point in the game we are aware of what is happening at Redcliffe. So you’re telling me Cullen, you just want to  _abandon_ the mages and civilians to a time-manipulating Tevinter magister, clearly working for a mysterious organization with malicious intents? Like as if that is a real option????? (And it turns out it is,  _wow_.) See, I think the game should have locked your decision at this point, but no, they had to give you one last chance to switch to the side they obviously favour. (You don’t have the option to go to Therinfal Redoubt, see the chaos and say nope I’m out never mind.) But I better move on from this before I get too off-topic.

Thankfully, Cassandra points out that they’d be stupid to do as such. But then like five seconds later he says it again. FYI, that’s _twice_ in one conversation. A last ditch effort I suppose. And the whole “If you don’t want to play the bait” part gets me too, because essentially you do  _the same thing_  when approaching the templars!

How he says it really bother’s me though, because it’s a tactic I’ve personally seen used to control people in unhealthy relationships.

As above, he claims  _he won’t allow_  the Inquisitor to side with the mages. (Thankfully we have a team of competent ladies to outweigh his voice.) But seriously Cullen, is that a threat? Are you claiming  _you_ have the final say in this? Your templar-ness is showing.  
But then he turns around to say that they can’t order the Inquisitor to go through with it. As I said above. He only plans on ordering Belava around if she disagrees? But if she agrees, there’s no need to order her to do anything. The way he phrases it though makes it seem like  _she_ can choose. “It’s up to you.” Well,  _evidently not_. Unless it’s what  _you_ want.

It makes me really want to see what conversation probably took place afterwards. When the Inquisitor says "yes, I do plan on going through with this." He probably threw a hissy fit. You know, like the one he throws when you come back allied with them. And then we get this conversation: (Which by the way, there is no equivalent to after Champions of the Just; he has nothing to say then. Everything’s jolly.)

> _**Inquisitor** : You weren’t happy with how I brought in the mages. Do you have a problem with me as well?_   
>  _**Cullen** : Of course not._   
>  _**Cullen** : (Sighs) I have no intention of endangering your alliance, but I must ensure the safety of those here._   
>  _**Cullen** : That concern extends to the mages. They are putting themselves at risk for the Inquisition, as are you._   
>  _**Cullen** : Any precautions taken are meant to aid you, nothing more. I hope you will accept them as such._

That sigh is so fucking condescending sounding too, ugh. As if he can’t believe the Inquisitor would ask him this question.

**_And there’s no response option._** You don’t get to tell him to shove his “precautions.” You have no choice but to accept them as he says.

Seriously though. “I want to bully you for your own good” is all I took from that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Feb 16 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/139448884201/


	8. After Haven

> _**Lavellan:** Our escape from Haven... it was close._   
>  _**Lavellan:** I am relieved that you—that so many made it out._   
>  _**Cullen:** As am I._

Well guys, I  _did say_ I’d talk about anything good in the Cullen romance as well… Admittedly this is one of the  _very few_  moments I don’t hate.

Congrats Cullen, for making it through a cutscene without saying something to piss me off.  
It’s not like there’s a huge bar at this point, though. 

_“You stayed behind–You could have–I will not allow the events at Haven to happen again. You have my word.”_

**THE GOOD:**

What’s this? A display of affection without being creepy/jerk-like about it? From  _Cullen?_  Alert the fucking Maker.

If there’s one thing about the writing for Cullen’s romance that I can actually see as good, it’s the awkward silences and fumbling through words. Depending on how you view it (which I’ll expand on below) it  _can_ get adorakble at times.   
He and the Inquisitor make it through a conversation without him belittling her or whinging about mages/templars. They just get to, as two people, acknowledge that they were just through a pretty close call and lived, thankful that they both made it. Besides Vivienne and Josephine, he’s the only one you get to do this with. If anything I wish this scene wasn’t limited to flirting dialogue. You can be glad someone didn’t die a horrible death and want to express that relief without romantic intention. (As in the case of Vivienne, who I just mentioned.)

I beleive this is the turning-point scene. I mean that if I had to pick a cutscene where the Inquisitor realizes Cullen’s infatuation with them it’d be this one. (My memory may be faulting, but I believe somewhere it’s mentioned he was high-key crushing on them since Haven?)

**THE BAD:**

Of course it’s up to the player to interpret that awkwardness as either  _endearing_ or  _disturbing_. I can totally see those who do,  _especially_ if you take into account his very similar behaviour with a female Amell or Surana, stalking them and in his own words seeing them as just an object to obsess over. And there  _are_ parts of it where I myself see it that way.

It’s also interesting how he’s willing to learn from this event and vows to do better in the future. I mean there’s proof he’s capable of doing that… Which means he just  _chooses_ not to when it comes to his tyrannic past.

So. That’s that. I’m sure we’ll return to our regularly scheduled horrible soon enough, though.  
Oh, what’s this? The next cutscene with him is hypocritically talking about Samson? Surprise surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Mar 12, 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/140924194857/


	9. Starting a Relationship

> _**Lavellan:** You left the templars, but do you trust mages?_   
>  _**Lavellan:** Could you think of me as anything more?_   
>  _**Cullen:** I could. I mean I do... think of you._

Way to skip the first question, Cullen.

**THE GOOD:**

My Inquisitor is looking adorable in her new threads.

**THE BAD:**

See, even if he did answer the first question saying yeah he totally trusts mages, I’d call bullshit. Because everything he’s done/said so far shows otherwise. He does  _not_ trust mages. In fact he still doesn’t even recognize his past atrocities. (See: past 'chapters.') He doesn’t even trust the Inquisitor completely. In fact, when you ask him what he would do if they were to become possessed, he refuses to answer simply saying “I’d rather not think about that.” Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy. Also nice to know you’d sooner cut her down than free her of possession,  _like we know through two previous games is 100% possible_.

Right, back to this conversation though. I don’t even like the writing of Belava’s part. Why is she sad about this? She should not be  _sad_  about being a mage. She should not feel  _guilty_ about being a mage.  **I dislike how it’s written like Cullen should be considered an upstanding citizen for liking her _despite_ her magic. As if it’s a flaw, and he is so graciously making an exception for her.** No, bitch.   
…I can’t even _fucking believe_ I am making a comparison to this fucking movie, but he’s like John fucking “I don’t like your people but you don’t count” Smith of Disney’s Pocahontas. And no. I do not mean that in a positive way. (For those of you who somehow could possibly misinterpret that.) That is Cullen’s brain separating the Inquisitor from mages rather than thinking for a moment that maybe he’s been wrong all this time. 

That is such shitty behaviour, I swear to god. And once again, there is no chance to either press him to actually answer the question, (honestly, I’m curious with what he’d come up with for an answer,) or criticize this. By now it’s a reoccurring theme, though. And what I dislike most, I’ve decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Apr 8 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/142482607251/


	10. On Being Dalish

> _**Lavellan:** The day you kissed me on the battlements: How long had you wanted to do that?_   
>  _**Cullen:** (Laughs.) Longer than I should admit._   
>  _**Lavellan:** That I'm Dalish never bothered you?_   
>  _**Cullen:** I hadn't considered... elves weren't treated differently in the Circles I served. I didn't think what it might mean to you..._   
>  _**Cullen:** I hope that doesn't—I mean, does it... bother you?_   
>  _**Lavellan:** I don't know. Maybe. If you're not serious..._   
>  _**Cullen:** I am._   
>  _**Cullen:** If I seem unsure, it's because it's been a long time since I've wanted anyone in my life._

*Kill bill sirens and bullshit detector go off simultaneously*

Can you even believe he says this  _LMFAO_.

**THE GOOD:**

It could be worse. It could definitely be worse, considering his blatant disregard for the Dalish in all the war table missions involving them. (Not just clan Lavellan.) “Elves weren’t treated differently in the Circles I served.”

**THE BAD:**

The cringe is strong with this one. Because I know lots of people are going to look at this conversation and say, “Wow, look how progressive Cullen is! He doesn’t care that your elf is a mean ol’ Dalish!” Well. My response can just be copied and pasted from the previous #templar tryst.  **I dislike how it’s written like Cullen should be considered this upstanding citizen for liking her _despite_ her culture/race. As if it’s a flaw, and he is so graciously making an exception for her.** 

Worse than that,  **he is exhibiting the equivalent to being “colourblind.”**  Guess what? Being “colourblind” i.e. “I don’t see race I just see people” and other avoidance  _is_ a form of racism!

“I never considered,” says Cullen. So he’s not throwing out slurs like rabbit and knife-ear.  **But he’s dismissing/invalidating her identity. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it, and as such is equating her background with something negative.** (More on colourblindness re: these points can be found in [this article](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Feverydayfeminism.com%2F2015%2F02%2Fcolorblindness-adds-to-racism%2F&t=ZmM0Zjg5ZTgxNzA1MWE0ODcyNmVlOGZiMGFhODNmNmRlNjIxNDYxNSxva0hvelBRTQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9v35U8AHvVYzqlApZGIUag&p=http%3A%2F%2Fdalishious.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F142596443792%2F%E5%87%B8-%E5%87%B8-what-is-templartryst-find-out-here&m=0).) And this is especially yucky in Lavellan’s situation, where everyone around her is constantly trying to  _assimilate her_ , turn her into this figure of a religion she does not believe in. And now her LI is doing this too.  
In comparison, many people give Sera shit for giving the Inquisitor a hard time for being Dalish. But personally I prefer it 100% because she both acknowledges her,  _and even better,_  she learns and grows to  _accept her_. She even admits in both LI dialogue and in Trespasser that the problem is more about  _her_ than it is with the Dalish; her insecurity about not being a “true elf.”  **Where Cullen just prefers to _ignore_ it. **

And oh man. “Elves weren’t treated differently in the Circles I served.” JFC, I seriously dropped my jaw at the utter  _bullshit_ he spouted, threw back my head, and laughed. Because we know that is not the truth. Elven mages face discrimination for being elves  _and_ for being mages. Both outside  _and inside_  the Circle.   
He’s not even being ambiguous, he is straight-up  _lying_. And people who haven’t played the previous games or read the books don’t even know. It’s cheap cheating!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Apr 10 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/142596443792/


	11. Lyrium Addiction Part 1

(This post is regarding him fighting his lyrium addiction, and if you had/have difficulties with this scene in game due to drug addiction parallels, you may want to skip this one. It’s okay. The TL;DR version is that this is the point where it’d probably be best for  _both_ of them to split up, and also Cullen is a dick as usual.)

So. As you know, Cullen was talking with Cassandra, asking her to find someone to replace his job. And honestly? I support this. No, it’s not just because as I’ve detailed before he’s really not a suitable candidate to begin with, but also because he is clearly in a compromised situation. Which is, as he said, a situation where he wanted to pass his title onto someone else. This is the responsible thing to do. Cullen has the right idea! He should be focusing on himself, not the Inquisition. I can’t stand the guy, but I know many people who have fought and continue to fight similarly what he does. Drugs and alcohol are a common go-to escape from real life. And when real life is shit… I only want what is best for them, and what is best for him. And so telling Cullen to return to his addiction… It’s enabling and harmful and I just personally can’t allow my character to do it any more than sacrificing the Chargers TBH. Anyway, as far as we know I don’t think there’s anything for mental health and addictions services in Thedas so he is completely on his own, and the last thing that needs to be on his mind is troop movements. But for some reason Cassandra insists he stays. I really, really do not get this. I don’t. I don’t know if it’s because she doesn’t believe it’s as bad as it is? Considering he’s next seen throwing a box of glass and shit at the Inquisitor, I’d say things are not so great. He is endangering himself,  _and_ others. 

He’s hobbling around the floor. He’s in pain. Again, I can’t stand this character, but this is the  _one and only thing_  I have a little sympathy for him for. As someone who practically has a bowl of pill cereal every morning just to get through the day myself, most mentally ill characters I feel for. Even assholes like Cullen.

Okay. Now that that’s out of the way, lets get into the problematic dialogue.

So we finally get to hear Cullen talk about the Ferelden Circle. 

And before we get into this, I’m going to address the biggest defence of his BS. “He’s in pain/he’s suffering from his addiction so that makes it okay.”   
You know. One time. My little brother. Who was about seven at the time. Complained to my father that he was hungry. Not a lot of food in the house. Pretty usual. And as punishment. My father force-fed him salted crackers and cheese-whiz until he was sick. And to this day. Just the smell of cheese-whiz makes him nauseous. Does my father’s alcoholism excuse this?   
I’ve come to learn that it doesn’t. There is a big difference between explanations and excuses. Cullen is no exception to this.

> _**Cullen:** You asked what happened to Ferelden’s Circle. It was taken over by abominations. The templars–my friends—were slaughtered._

Hey wow you know I was there too Cullen and if my memory serves correct you know who else was slaughtered, in a higher number in fact? The mages.  
Yeah it makes sense for him to mention his friends by my god can people please stop pretending like he is not one-sided?

> _**Cullen:** I was tortured. They tried to break my mind, and I–how can you be the same person after that?_

IDK Cullen, why don’t you ask all the mages you put through all those Harrowings of the exact same nature? 

> _**Cullen:**  Still, I wanted to serve. They sent me to Kirkwall. I trust my knight-commander, and for what? Her fear of mages ended in madness._

Interesting Cullen, that you  _now_ say you  _trusted her_  when beforehand you claimed to know nothing of what was going on even though there are codex entries that prove otherwise. 

I also seem to recall just as much flat-out hatred as fear. The way this is worded makes Meredith seem like a  _victim,_ ugh.

> _**Cullen:** Kirkwall’s Circle fell. Innocent people died on the streets. Can’t you see why I want nothing to do with that life?_

**And that is a _luxury_ you have, Cullen.** Can’t  _you see_  that as a straight white man in a position of power you are literally the epitome of privileged? Because no mage can say the same. The mages are a part of “that life” whether they want to or not. Either in a Circle, or fighting for their freedom. The most reclusive apostate possible is still a part. 

Yes, I can see why. Because it is a lot easier to run away from your mistakes rather than atone for them. But easy does not mean it’s  _right_.

And oh man. This next piece… If you pick the “I understand” option he’s like,  _“Don’t. You should be questioning what I’ve done.”_

WELL MOTHERFUCKER, I WOULD IF I  _ACTUALLY HAD THE OPTION TO_. BUT UNFORTUNATELY THE ONLY NEGATIVE OPTION IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.

ARGH, does this line ever bother me oh my fucking god…

Anyway, he goes on to say he had hoped joining the Inquisition would give him control over his life. (Again. A  _luxury_ he doesn’t seem to understand.) Cullen then proceeds to have a bit of a stress breakdown and ends up punching a bookcase. Again, risking himself and others he is very clearly not in a safe place. 

Now, at least to end things on a positive note, I think the encouragement the Inquisitor can give Cullen both as a friend and a lover is pretty good, and they can successfully calm him down. But even though this doesn’t happen again, realistically, it probably would. Unfortunately dealing with addiction is not as simple as just saying “Alright” and it’s over. It’s an ongoing battle and the only battle Cullen should be focusing on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, May 20 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/144677866547/


	12. Lyrium Addiction Part 2

> _**Cullen:** The way I saw mages... I'm not sure I would have cared about you, and the thought of that sickens me._   
>  _**Cullen:** Now I can put some distance between myself and everything that happened. It's a start._

Since I can’t call out his delusions in-game, it’s actually become quite a relief to do so here.

**THE GOOD:**

I really am glad Cullen is on the path out of his addiction, and I really am glad he is beginning to find some peace out of it.

**THE BAD:**

But Cullen. I don’t know what fantasy world you’re living in when you say the ‘way you saw mages’ in past tense, but as demonstrated by nearly every single cutscene with you, you still  _very clearly_  hate and fear them. And this even continues AFTER this conversation so don’t tell me he’s just only now decided this. (In fact the very next dialogue I’ll be doing is the one where he says “Grey Wardens fight evil just like templars” thus saying mages are  _evil_. But we’ll get to that in another post.)

And also wow again with the Pocahontas thing. Again with the “What a great character Cullen is  _despite_ Belava being a  _mage_  because being a  _mage_ is a  _flaw_ and therefore he is the  _good guy_ for overlooking this  _flaw_.”

And finally, the “putting distance between myself and everything that happened.” I don’t really know what to make of this piece because I can’t tell if he is referring to his desire to overcome his addiction, or saying he wants to forget all his past cruelty. If it’s the first, I’m fine with that, although I wish they would have worded it differently to make it more clear. And if it’s the second…   
I’m going to compare this to Blackwall’s story. The whole point of  _his_ character arc is accepting responsibility for his past rather than running form it,  _just like Cullen is doing_. I was half expecting Blackwall to storm up to the battlements with a chisel in hand and a Dad Talk. I don’t understand why we are supposed to root for Blackwall to accept his consequences and at the same time root for Cullen to avoid them? I really don’t!

But unfortunately everything goes downhill from here, folks. Quite quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, May 22 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/144755972922/


	13. Date at the Lake

> _**Lavellan:** Alone with a mage. That doesn't concern you?_  
>  _**Cullen:** The templars have rules on fraternization. Bu I'm no longer bound by them._  
>  _**Lavellan:** I know, but... You've seen the worst mages have to offer. How can you not see that in me?_  
>  _**Cullen:** I don't. If I've given you reason to doubt... (Sighs.) Of course I have._  
>  _**Cullen:** Whatever I fear of magic, I see none of that in you._

**THE GOOD:**

The water is pretty. 

Cullen giving the Inquisitor his coin is cute. I like little romance token things. Also it’s interesting to note that apparently Fereldan silver coins have Andraste printed on them. 

For the first (and I think only?) time Cullen acknowledges is prejudice.

**THE BAD:**

…So that means that no, he’s not oblivious to it. He’s fully gooddamn aware and just  _acts_ like he is.

So I actually, believe it or not, clicked on the “You’re alone with a mage” option with a sliver of hope it wouldn’t be awful. I mean by this point the two have been together for some time so if anything it sounded like maybe I was in for another “Oh, look how he’s changed!” moment. Which I would have course argued as not being true. But lol nope they don’t even go for that. Instead we’re in for another round of Belava being ashamed of her magic it seems.

He answers a  _yes or no question_ , “Does my magic concern you,” by switching the topic. Yes let me hear more about how templars are such upstanding citizens. //Sarcasm

_“The templars have rules about fraternization.”_  That may be so. But you know a big part of rules are actually receiving punishment for breaking them. From what we’ve seen the only punishment received is on the  _mage’s_  end.   
I don’t think I need to go into how much sexual harassment and assault mages face in the Circle again. So I won’t. But Cullen, my man, don’t even try to insinuate otherwise. I’m not saying he has personally broken these rules, as far as we know he hasn’t. But he’s talking about the order as a whole. 

And as I said. The two have been together for some time. And we’re still going through this “I’m a mage how can you possibly love me” bullshit?  _Belava my girl, dump his ass_. But at least now, finally now, he admits that he’s given her so many reasons to be  _afraid_ of him. The guy even said he’d  _kill her_  if she was possessed! 

And then there’s my least favourite part. This is the third time he’s done this. Detaching the Inquisitor from her people rather than facing his bias. 

**Note:**  Last time I brought this up someone had the nerve to reply with this…

_“Ahh yes, the segregation oriented mindset of feminism. That’s right, the statement that one doesn’t see race is a positive thing. To categorize people according to labels is just a way to divide everyone. As the Dalish Warden may tell Leliana after she tactlessly congratulates him/her for not being a savage, “I am elven, but more than that, I am a person”. It has nothing to do with dismissing one’s cultural upbringing but to see them for who they are inside. And really, you’re reading far too much into it if you thought Cullen said he loves Lavellan despite being an elf. No such thing was ever said.”_

So if you are going to write a similar response, know you don’t have to because it’s already been said, and here’s a reply:

  1. Fuck you.
  2. Fuck you.
  3. An elven warden saying that is not dismissing heir culture, they are telling Leliana to see them as equal. They literally begin with, “I am elven.” And guess what? Your culture _is a part_ of who you are inside. 
  4. Oh I’m sorry I wasn’t aware that I was supposed to just  _turn off my brain_  in order to enjoy the game. And “reading far too much into it” is literally what this post series is about lmao. 
  5. Fuck you.



Now, to bring this back on track…

The second dialogue option isn’t a whole lot better, BTW. 

> _**Lavellan:** Would it really have stopped you, if we’d met before?_  
>  _**Cullen:** I don’t… I…_  
>  _**Lavellan:** You could say ‘no, of course not.’_  
>  _**Cullen:** It’s hard to believe I wouldn’t have noticed you._

*Cringes* It could have been so much worse, guys. That’s all I’m getting from this. Templar/Mage Circle romances disturb me. Outside of the Circle not as much, but  _in_ the Circle where the templar holds  _absolute power_ over the mage? I don’t like it.  _Way_ to easy for that power to be abused. Way to easy for a mage to feel  _pressured_ into something they don’t want. And as I said before, if they were caught, it’d be the mage that would receive the punishment. 

They kiss and it fades to black like a romcom finale or something. I found it a little funny how Belava basically gets swallowed by his feathers. 

Next post will be a collection of a few smaller analyses on some non-cutscene dialogue. None of them are really big enough to warrant posts of their own, but too important to skip. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Jun 27 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/146559444152/


	14. On Meredith

> _**Cullen:** After the Ferelden circle, I thought all mages were like the ones there._   
>  _**Cullen:** Knight-Commander Meredith's methods were harsh, but they kept people safe._   
>  _**Lavellan:** You said Meredith was unstable._   
>  _**Cullen:** She was my Knight-Commander. I had no reason to distrust her. She wasn't wrong about the blood mages in Kirkwall._   
>  _**Cullen:** Meredith encouraged my anger towards the mages. But there was only so far I could go, and she knew that too._   
>  _**Cullen:** I was her second in command, but she kept decisions from me—those I would question._   
>  _**Cullen:** I believed she was serving the city. I never thought to question her. Not until it was too late._   
>  _**Lavellan:** Your fear or mages blinded you. Lives were lost for that._   
>  _**Cullen:** A truth that haunts me._   
>  _**Cullen:** It is not yet enough. The Inquisition is my chance to atone. I will see it through._

Okay, so before I get into the actual Cullen critical, I want to make a statement about how I feel about Meredith: My  _biggest_ problem with her is that she is huge wasted potential. I feel like there is so much more that could have been done with her character beyond wannabe dictator. 

But while this post does touch on her, this here is a Templar Tryst post. Which means the main focus is on Cullen.

*Cracks knuckles dramatically*

**THE GOOD:**

What is good

**THE BAD:**

I don’t know how to do this other than go line by line.

**_“After the Ferelden Circle, I thought all mages were like the ones there.”_ **

Dead, you mean? Like, Cullen. There were literally just a handful of mages orchestrating everything. And they killed more fellow mages than templars, going by the observed body count. (Makes sense seeing as the Greagoir’s solution was to have his templars fucking book it and lock everyone else in behind to blow them up.)

**_“Knight-Commander Meredith’s methods were harsh, but they kept people safe.”_ **

[This line is almost laughable, holy fuck, what was safe about Kirkwall  _at all???_](http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/144193558667/)  
And really, Cullen? Having a  _pillory or whatever kind of torture device this is_ in the middle of the Circle is necessary to keep people safe?

“Harsh” he says. JFC, she went against the rules and made people tranquil as punishment. She let countless cases of all kinds of abuse go on under her watch.  _She wanted to kill every single mage in Kirkwall because a single apostate completely detached from the Circle blew up the Chantry_. There’s an expression a Youtube movie reviewer once used that fits perfectly in this situation:  _That is like burning down your house because you have an ant problem. i_ t is completely illogical.

**_"You’ve said Meredith was unstable.”_ **

BIOWARE. HOW DOES  _THIS_ :

Equate to  _that_.

**_"She was my knight-commander. I had no reason to distrust her. She wasn’t wrong about the blood mages in Kirkwall.”_ **

Um, yeah she kind of was. Like half the blood mages you encounter are either not even from Kirkwall (i.e. all the slavers) or were forced into a corner and did it out of self-protection with no other options. And then you have Merrill, who is a great demonstration of why it’s not the type of magic itself, _but how you use it_. You know. Kind of like any gift or talent.

**_“Meredith encouraged my anger towards mages. But there was only so far I would go, and she knew that too.”_ **

I’m laughing because he makes it out like he’s the pure innocent snowflake corrupted by the evil madwoman. Like he’s Luke Skywalker and she’s the Emperor. Like he didn’t have quite the level of authority himself and like he didn’t do all his wrongdoings by choice. But no, lets shift the blame  _all_ on Meredith. Who, while is definitely a bad person, at least has the defence that her mind was not completely her own by the end of things. But as far as I know Cullen was a dick without any red lyrium influence.

**_“I was her second in command, but she kept decisions from me–Those I would question.”_ **

So [these documents](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fdragonage.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FCodex_entry%3A_The_Mage_Underground&t=NTI4MzhiYTNkNDRlZTU2MzYzMjgyZDRiMjY4MjI1ZDQxZmM2NzZhZSxsYTJrV2h2YQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9v35U8AHvVYzqlApZGIUag&p=http%3A%2F%2Fdalishious.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F147471348977%2Fokay-so-before-i-get-into-the-actual-cullen&m=0) must have been forged, right? But do continue to claim ignorance, Cullen. It won’t last very long, considering Hawke is due to show up soon.

**_“I believed she was serving the city. I never thought to question her. Not until it was too late.”_ **

I’ve said this before. Not until you saw an opportunity and took it, right? :|

**_“The Inquisition is my chance to atone.”_ **

And you atone by slandering mages and boasting about templars every chance you get?  _That’s_ your definition of atonement?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Jul 15 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/147471348977/


	15. Cullen's Circle Solution

> _**Lavellan:** Do you think templars should cease to exist?_  
>  _**Cullen:** No. I may have chosen to leave that life, but I respect those who remain._  
>  _**Cullen:** Magic ungoverned could tear the world apart. It's doing so now. Templars are trained and able to confront such dangers._  
>  _**Lavellan:** What would you suggest?_  
>  _**Cullen:** Some call the Circle a prison—that can only breed resentment._  
>  _**Cullen:** Perhaps opportunities to work outside the Circle? A mixed military service, or healers' clinics with templar support._  
>  _**Cullen:** And there must be a safer way for templars to leave._  
>  _**Cullen:** Templars can loose their memories to lyrium. Some call it a gift—to forget the failed Harrowings, the demons._  
>  _**Cullen:** Some atrocities haunt me still. But to loose what good I can recall... I nearly lost my mind once. It is no gift._  
>  _**Lavellan:** Mages can take care of themselves. We don't need templars._  
>  _**Cullen:** Tell that to the parents of a child who falls prey to possession._  
>  _**Cullen:** Mages cannot handle such threats alone._

**THE GOOD:**

And at least we’ve got some continuity for once; Cullen doesn’t bother to beat around the bush over his support of the templars, and he doesn’t contradict his answer on this from before. (Funny how this is always clear, but continuity re: mages is messier than a donair.) 

**THE BAD:**

Everything on his “Templars are the only ones who can oppose magic” I’ve countered before, so I don’t see the need in repeating it in detail. So here’s a few bullet points:

  * [Stop using Kinloch as an example](http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/140297972585/) when the Templar’s solution was to  _annul_ the place and would have too if not for the HoF; the Templars did nothing but make the situation worse.
  * Mages have proven time and time again to be capable of fighting magic themselves
  * There are in fact multiple ways of dealing with demons without Templars
  * [The Emerald Knights were a thing](https://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Dhal_Vallasan)
  * Even if that were the case, even if Templars really were the only ones that could stop magic, there is absolutely zero defence to their  _abuse_ of this power.



So when his response is “Tell that to the parents of a child who falls prey to possession” when my Lavellan can (for once) challenge him, I’m like

  1. It’s become pretty clear that at this point, this type of response is a series.  _“Templars are not necessary.” “Tell that to *Insert victim of magic here*”_
  2. If they really are a perfectly functioning solution then why are there so many examples of failure?
  3. TBH the reason this response  _really_ bothers me, is because it kind of reminds me of the classic response to, “There’s nothing wrong with autism,” “Tell that to the parents of an autistic kid.” Like. How about you stop putting the focus on the woe is me parents? And more on people with autism? That also have to deal with parents acting like we’re a burden because of it?   
Because in this example he’s brought up, I’d much prefer to hear what the  _kid_ thinks.



As far as mages handling the situation alone, yeah, there’s no doubt that help would be great.  _But templars are not helping._  They are making the situation  _worse_. 

And I love (i.e. hate) his idea of a “solution.”

**_“Some call the Circle a prison–That can only breed resentment.”_ **

Ah yes it’s simple then, let’s just rename it. You know, instead of tackling the  _reason_ they call it that.

_**“Perhaps opportunities to work outside the circle?”** _

He then proceeds to suggest  _more military service_ , something the Chantry has already decided is the only use for mages, (yes that is just what we need more PTSD inducers) and clinics, but of course with templars watching their every move.  
While I actually think the clinics are a good idea, I seriously doubt it’d go so well with templars hovering over their backs at every moment. Templars with hands resting on their swords, while the mages are trying to heal people. As someone who works in the medical field I’ve seen first hand how stressful shit can get. The  _last_ thing you need is someone ready to kill you if you look the wrong way.

And then of course his focus goes into the templars.  
I absolutely agree that templars need better relief and help, and I will say I like that he opens up a rehab house of sorts in the epilogue. There is basically  _no_ help for people with mental illnesses and addictions in Thedas.   
…It’s just a shame that he sees templars as deserving this kind of support but not mages. Just saying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Aug 9 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/148695499422/


	16. On Surana

> _**Lavellan:** If you don't mind me asking, the Hero of Ferelden was a circle mage—_   
>  _**Lavellan:** Did you know her?_   
>  _**Cullen:** I attended her Harrowing, actually. She was a lovely woman._   
>  _**Lavellan:** "Lovely?"_   
>  _**Cullen:** There was some... youthful infatuation on my part. A feeling I had forsaken until recently._   
>  _**Lavellan:** You never acted on it?_   
>  _**Cullen:** She was one of my charges. Even if she felt the same, it would have been... inappropriate._   
>  _**Cullen:** I saw her once after she became a warden. She freed the Tower during the Blight. I would be dead or mad if not for her._   
>  _**Cullen:** I was in a sorry state when she found me. The things I said were... unkind. Untoward. I regret them now._   
>  _**Cullen:** I wish she knew that._

So, in the worldstate I used for this playthrough, Surana was my warden and she romanced Leliana. Which meant I get to hear some  _great_  content from Cullen.

So let’s talk about  _that_ , then.

**The Good:**    
Congrats Cullen for admitting that the templars did jack shit (actually making things worse) in Kinloch and that it was the  _HoF_ who solved it. With just an elderly mage, another grey warden, and an ex bard by her side. [Too bad you’ll retract it the minute you need a reason templars should continue existing.](http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/146378051592/)

**The Bad:  
** Cullen’s obsession with Amell/Surana is not cute. Cullen’s obsession with Amell/Surana is not healthy. Cullen’s obsession with Amell/Surana is not a thing of the past, either.

Before this conversation even happens, an early wartable banter between Cullen and Leliana goes as follows:

> _**Cullen:**  So you and, uh…_   
>  _**Leliana:**  Yes?_   
>  _**Cullen:**  Was she… I mean… did she ever…?_   
>  _**Leliana:**  Are you asking for details?_   
>  _**Cullen:**  I, uh, no! That would be, uh, inappropriate._

Now, many people have argued that aww, how cute of him, checking in on Surana! (I will be exclusively using Surana from this point onward, as that is the worlstate.) Except it’s really not.

It is at least alluded that the ‘did she ever’ is in response to his relationship with her; if she ever mentioned him. Either that or he’s interested in their intimate relationship, which is just as invasive. If he really was truly interested in anything beyond that, as if “just old friends talking,” the requirements to get this comment wouldn’t be that Leliana was romanced.  ~~(And let me tell you, my Surana certainly did have a lot to say, but it was nothing good.)~~  
Leliana is also clearly uncomfortable with this. As I know I would be.

Thank goodness he has enough awareness to not press further though, right?

**…Except he _does_. And he and Leliana are  _not_  “old friends.”**

[In ambient dialogue between Leliana and a messenger](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2F1EAEQBvoRTQ%3Ft%3D1m57s&t=OTE4NmQwZDFmMWQ3NTBmOTFiZGU5YTgzYWM2MzAwNTEwYmQwODRmMCxNYTg1aHFKTw%3D%3D&b=t%3A9v35U8AHvVYzqlApZGIUag&p=http%3A%2F%2Fdalishious.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F150837691537%2Fso-in-the-worldstate-i-used-for-this-playthrough&m=0), she has this to say about a letter from Cullen, in a clearly distressed/angered tone:

> _**Leliana:** I thought this obsession was over! Has he been drinking?_   
>  _**Jim: I** -I don’t know, I’m just the messenger!_   
>  _**Leliana:**  Tell him to drop it! I am not going to discuss what she was like!_

Honestly, Leliana’s dislike of Cullen gives me life. In another ambient scene:

> _**Jim:** Commander Cullen will not be attending this week’s interlude._   
>  _**Leliana:** What? Tell him he must! I cannot be distracted at the moment, and I don’t want Josephine’s feelings hurt._   
>  _**Jim:**  He, ‘doesn’t have time for a tea party.’_   
>  _**Leliana:**  Stubborn mule. [I believe the word you’re looking for is ass, Leli.] Fine. I will arrange for him to be called away at the last minute. For appearances. …Why not tell me in person?_   
>  _**Jim:**  Y-you make him nervous. ‘Her eyes, stared into my soul.’_   
>  _**Leliana:** He has a soul?_

I’m so glad we have at least one character who sees through his bullshit. But back on topic.

Cullen, even though recognizing himself that it’s something Leliana does not want to talk about, presses her  _again_. In a (possibly intoxicated) letter.  _Gross_.

As to why his obsession–to quote Leliana–is  _not_  cute or innocent…

I’ve heard many people say that his interest in you depends on your dialogue choices. This is not true. The very first thing you overhear after waking up and talking with Jowan is two mages gossiping about your Harrowing, and alluding that Cullen has an interest in your character. 

There’s also this:

So no, it wasn’t just those two mages, and it’s not based on your interactions with him. This is before even talking to him.

[In Witch Hunt, mages will comment on how creepy he was, insinuating it wasn’t even just Surana he was making uncomfortable.](http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/169747222372/)

_“OMG Lydia but that’s just gossip stop being so mean to my Cully wully!!1!”_ In a close-knit community like the Circle, there’s no way Cullen’s interest would go unnoticed. So I wouldn’t count ‘just gossip’ as nothing.

And in the conversation you have with him, (The same one where he says, “I would have killed you, but I would have felt  _bad_ about it”)   before you can even get to possibly reciprocating his feelings, if you have Jowan with you:

> _**Warden:** Why are you stuttering?_   
>  _**Jowen:** Psst… Someone likes you._

Or: 

> _**Warden:** Hello, Cullen._   
>  _**Cullen:** Th-they picked me as the templar to strike the killing blow if…if you became an abomination. I-It’s nothing personal; I swear!_   
>  _**Jowan:** Psst… Someone likes you._

How do you go from, “It was my job to kill you if we maybe thought you were possessed but no offence lol” to “Awww, he must like you!”  _Real high standards, there._  Honestly I think that speaks volumes. “Wow, a templar doesn’t actively want to kill me; he must be in love with me.”

_“Well it’s not like he acts on it Lydia OMGGGGG it’s just a harmless crush!!!”_  But he does. In a  _negative_ way, and it’s  _not_ harmless.

When you meet Cullen a second time, yes he has been just tortured. Yes, he is an emotional wreck. But as I’ve said before in these posts, that is an explanation, not an excuse. My grandfather’s abuse from his kidnappers was not an excuse to abuse my father, and my father’s abuse was not an excuse to abuse me. And you  _can have sympathy_ while still understanding that it is  _wrong_.

Cullen says his comments to Surana were “unkind, untoward.” Yeah, I’ll say.

> _“Sifting through my thoughts… tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have…”_   
>  _“Using my shame against me… my ill-advised infatuation with her… a mage, of all things.”_   
>  _“I am beyond caring what you think. The Maker knows my sin, and I pray that he will forgive me.”_   
>  _“You are a mage and I, a templar. It is my duty to oppose you and all you are.”_

A  _thing_. A  _sin_. One his duty is to  _oppose_. (Where’s your “protection” bullshit now, Cullen?)  
Honestly the ‘thing’ sticks out to me the most, because it’s basically saying that his infatuation with Surana is pure objectification. And given his “Mages are not people” in DA2, it doesn’t look like this changes. Making romancing him as a mage in DAI all the more cringe-y.

And while I’m glad Cullen regrets it, it only makes his continued obsession harassing Leliana even more uncomfortable. 

_And_ it’s definitely not something  _Surana_ can so easily move past. His comments were not harmless. They were  _cruel_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Sep 23 2016  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/150837691537/


	17. On Possession

> _**Lavellan:** If I was possessed by a demon, would you..._   
>  _**Cullen:** Please, don't ask me this._   
>  _**Lavellan:** I think I know the answer._   
>  _**Cullen:** I don't think you do. It's not that simple, and I... I would rather not think of it._

Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure this is something that should be discussed.

[So if you missed my recent complaint about the inequality of Cullen and Sera’s weddings:](http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/157066198372/) I’ve finished the actual playthrough. Which means all that’s left is to write up the final few posts.

**THE GOOD:**

The good is that this soul-draining project is coming to an end. I have like, two more after this. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That is the good.

**THE BAD:**

This conversation is almost exactly the same as the one he has with Surana/Amell ten years ago. “Yeah I’d kill you, but I’d feel bad about it” just doesn’t cut it, pal.  _Especially_ in what is supposed to be a romantic relationship.

It’s a yes or no question. If Cullen is really as in love with the Inquisitor as he/fandom says, why won’t he answer it? More then that, tell Belava not to ask him that.  **I think she has every goddamn right to know if her boyfriend might _kill her_.**

There is no possible way Cullen isn’t aware of reversing possession. It’s been done on numerous occasions. Just to list some:

  * In The Calling, Fiona reverses possession by her own force of will.
  * The potential plot of Redcliffe in DA:O, where a group of mages with lots of lyrium can send a mage into the fade to force the demon out of Connor’s head. If Cullen somehow doesn’t know about any other method, he would know this one. Whether the warden does it or not, it’s obviously common knowledge in the Circle. Where he was from.
  * Pharamond was also rescued from the Fade, in Asunder.
  * In DA:2 Hawke saves Feynriel by entering the fade, and this was done with Marethari’s magic alone.
  * The Avvar mages learn magic by spirits possessing them, then releasing the spirits through a ritual.



So, really. It is pretty simple. 

That  _“I don’t think you do”_  part rubs me the wrong way, as well. Maybe it’s just because it’s kind of needlessly condescending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Feb 10 2017  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/157071183782/


	18. Challenge Complete

Fuck it. This is the last one. I was going to do this and then like, an ‘epilogue’ or something, but I’m just going to end it all here. It needs to end. 

**THE GOOD:**

Yes, I’m going to address the one good thing about Cullen’s marriage to a Dalish elf; he agrees to her reciting Dalish vows, because he wants her “promise to be true.” I’m glad you have the ability to do this playing as a Lavellan. 

BUT, this is something I have an issue with the fandom over, not the game. And I guess I might as well say it, seeing as this is the last one.  
I have heard  _a lot_ of Cullen fans say things such as, “He allows Lavellan to recite Dalish vows” and consider this saint-like material. Yes it’s good that he agrees to it, but treating his soon to be wife fairly should not be held as above standards. It should be held as THE standard. Second, he “allows” it? That brings us to the bad…

**THE BAD:**

I wish the dialogue for this was written differently. The dialogue wheel says, “I would like Dalish vows,” but when Lavellan speaks, the conversation goes like this:

> _**Lavellan** : I would. Cullen, I will.” *Frowns*_   
>  _**Cullen** : What is it?_   
>  _**Lavellan** : Reciting vows to the Maker… That means nothing to me. But I know you…_

WTF? What is wrong with Lavellan straight-up saying, “I don’t believe in the Maker. I would like Dalish vows.” Why is she making this about him? Why is she letting him decide for her? If he  _doesn’t_ want her reciting Dalish vows, then that’s a pretty good fucking sign they shouldn’t marry. 

Look, I am sure there are inter-faith marriages that work perfectly well. (I can’t say my parents’ did, but that had to do with a lot more than  _just_ my mother’s faith and my father’s hate for it.) That is not what this is about, and thankfully Cullen  _does_ say yes. But I just would have preferred to have Lavellan say what the dialogue wheel says, and then make Cullen either agree to her wishes or not. Not grant or deny them.

The second thing I don’t like about Cullen’s content in Trespasser, doesn’t even really have to entirely do with Cullen.

I’ve spoken about this before, because I couldn't’ resist just instantly ranting about it after going through the scene… But the  _ **blatant**_  favouritism for Cullen’s wedding over Sera’s really gets me.   
Cullen’s ceremony is about a minute long.  _We do not even get to see Sera’s ceremony_ ; just a twenty second clip _after it happens_ , with her screaming they win and a very brief kiss before it fades to black. That’s it. That’s all there is. Before doing this thing I just figured Cullen’s wedding was the same. But no.  
How hard would it have been to even just re-use the scenes from his, but with Sera? Come on, BioWare, you love recycling animations and shit. Why? Why were you so afraid to show us a same-sex wedding?  
And why couldn’t we get to choose if we wanted our character to wear a dress or not? As demonstrated with Cullen’s marriage, they have the model for both elves and humans. They’d just have to size it for dwarves and qunari too. My suspicions are that their brains couldn’t compute two brides possibly both wanting dresses, or something. I guess that makes the Inquisitor the  _feudal lord_ and Sera the  _handmaiden_. 

Another more minor comparison, is that between the final war table meeting when romancing Cullen vs. romancing Josephine. Cullen will embrace the Inquisitor in a hug, before the Inquisitor leaves for possibly the last time. Josephine walks up to them,  _they just stand there for a second_ , and she leans in for a kiss  _right when the camera turns away_.

Poor Josephine  _really_  got shafted in Trespasser, when you also recall that her romance scene is only a minor variation of her friendship scene. But no. BioWare has all the time in the world for their str8 white golden boy. 

Belava decided to keep the Inquisition going and serve the Divine, because I never made that decision before. And so she continues to be Inquisitor, and Cullen continues to be Commander. They get a dog, and supposedly live happily ever after while they search for Solas. As if nothing discussed in this post series happened. As if there aren’t still unresolved issues between them. 

And really, that is the perfect summary of Cullen’s romance. Hang a pretty picture over the crack in the wall and call it fixed.

 

* * *

Funny enough, supposedly this was supposed to make me actually like him. But all it’s done is make me hate him more, honestly. And develop a very thin amount of patience for most of his fanbase. I’d like to give a  _final fuck_  you to everyone who told me to kill myself because I dared critique your favourite character. And a final  _thank you_ to everyone who was very supportive, whether you agreed with what I had to say or not. 

Will I continue to write shit about Cullen? There’s no way I won’t. You can continue to check up in my generic ‘anti cullen’ tag. But I am so, so happy to say that  _#TemplarTryst_  is finished.

Thanks for reading! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, Mar 9 2017  
> http://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/158200610122/


End file.
